I know it's wrong to be tempted

 

 You seep in the windows and vents.
I lay in the grass and I lose your scent.
Well if God gave me grace, then why aren't I graceful?
My joints are froze, cold, old and idle.
 

so school ended and I got a job. I sell watches in that huge department store.
I'm actually getting pretty good at it, and I'm working full-time right now.
I'm going to see if I can transfer to the makeup section.
maybe MAC or something.
either way, my bank account is awaiting my huge paycheck.
hopefully it will never go hungry again.

 

I'll be back soon

my birthday is february 7th, now you know.

 

I've been feeling so materialistic lately, strawberry mini-wheats just can't fill the void. I'm one dollar short for a soda and miserable. and fuck, I just smudged my face. nice going, index finger. tonight might blow chunks thanks to flip-flopping anxiety attacks (not mine, for once)
I want that department store job so badly.

( simple dreams )

the sky keeps getting darker and I only leave the room for refills. orange light can only do so much, y'know?
this position is probably going to kill my back. gym class on monday. we have to practice this shitty choreography on "bootylicious" ... yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds. sadly, it is also worth 20% of my final grade. oh, the mess I am in.
 

expecting softness can lead to foolishness


today was full of projects and glue sticks. I hope Mr. Davies appreciates.
I don't like spending my saturdays on schoolwork, I am a terribly lazy student. (but I do love learning and taking colourful notes)
well, hopefully tomorrow I will see my Hanna Dear. gossip is such a girly thing. but you must understand how harmless I am with it, no worries there. and words cannot express how much I love the pharmacy; it's so bright and white. it always maintains the illusion of cleanliness and boy, do I love the makeup selection. simple pleasures, I guess. two nights ago I dreamed I was pregnant. it was the most bizzare thing ever... I kept reminding myself of all the things I couldn't eat or drink anymore and I was buying all this new clothes for me and the baby (it was a girl, obviously) and I kept feeling like I was too young for it, but I still felt eager and ready. all my current worries and doubts seemed so trivial compared to impending motherhood. I woke up happy that my uterus was still empty though. but I did realize something extremely important about myself this week: I don't give a shit about her. she's pretty lame when you think about it. plus I have such important people in my life that if she does decide to dissapear, it would be not be of any importance. I was already getting sick of her bizzare ways, that was no secret. as cute as she was at first, the hassle overpowered the fun and my eyes were rolling. I will still smile at her in class though, no need for sourness. there's something growing on my cheek. it's either a volcanic pimple or a tumor. let's pray.

( oh, and on friday night )

that's right. because I'm a healthy motherfucker.
and I better get a job soon so this can stop.